8 important things you must know before marriage.
Marriage was created by God himself, it is beautiful and it’s also a blessing. In as much as marriage is a blessing, yet it comes with so many troubles here and there. Why?
Sometimes, you here people say ” if this is marriage then I rather remain single”. Probably because of the experiences of people around them. The truth is, there are different ideologies and misconceptions about marriage, and different reasons why people want to get married.
We’ll be looking at some of the basic Factors one should consider before getting married, and even if you’re married already you could carefully examine your marriage and make amends were necessary.
8 important things You Must know Before getting married
Before you get married, you should understand these;
- Marriage does not give satisfaction.
- Unrealistic expectations should be checked.
- Your spouse cannot meet all of your needs.
- It’s not always going to be sweet.
- Your Family first.
- It’s in your place to build the home.
- Marriage /love is sacrificial.
- An ideal Plan
1. Marriage does not give satisfaction:
This is a misconception that has caused a lot of troubles in marriages (homes). The idea that once you are married you’ll be hundred percent satisfied is a very big lie from the pit of hell.
Marriage will not suddenly turn around everything for you. Marriage comes with a lot of blessings but that doesn’t mean that all of your problems will be solved immediately you’re married and you’ll become satisfied with everything in your life. Only God can satisfy you.
God can truly satisfy you and that satisfaction comes as a result of your relationship with him, in obedience to his word which brings a lot of peace to your soul, and that peace strengthens you and makes you strong even in the midst of trouble.
2. unrealistic expectations
I recently overheard a discussion concerning this topic and i just had to listen carefully before saying a word.
It was actually a friend’s sister and some other persons.
she said she had suffered a lot in life so she just wants to get married so she can leave a better life and put an end to suffering.
The lady beside her said she needs to marry a wealthy man so she can live a better life.
Then i asked them if they wanted to become liabilities to their future husband. But they couldn’t say anything meaningful, so i explained.
Now you see that a lot of people go into marriage with different ideology, and when they don’t see things the way they planned or imagined, it becomes a serious problem that may eventually lead to divorce if not handled carefully.
When the man is not able to meet up with these unrealistic expectations, the home becomes hot and unbearable for them because it’s not how they imagined it to be.
Then you see them comparing their marriage with others which is not supposed to be so.
3. Your spouse cannot meet all of your needs:
A lot of time people want to get married to rich people because they think oh the moment they are married to them, all of their needs will be met. The truth is, your husband is a human being like you and no matter how wealthy he is, he does not have the capacity to supply all your needs.
If he can, then he is God. But my God shall supply all your needs according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus Philippians 4:19. Only God can supply your needs and also satisfy your soul because he alone is God.
If a man could do all of these things then God wouldn’t have invented marriage in the first place because he cannot share his glory with anybody.
That is why God has to be in centre of your marriage if you want it to work, and if you want to experience peace in your marriage.
4. It’s not always going to be sweet:
One thing you must understand before going into marriage or if you’re already married is that, there is no perfect marriage so do not compare your own with another.
You’re currently going through hard times together does not mean that it is going to remain like that forever.
There’s going to be sweet times and there’s also going to be bad times. It’s not always going to be sweet.
That is why you have each other to face whatever challenge it is together instead of standing alone, because two the Bible says is definitely better than one. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. With God on your side you can conquer any situation together.
5. Your (family) first:
God is the head of the home and then your husband not your mother, father, sister, friend not even your pastor. You see people respect their pastors and family members more than their husbands. Some people even put their carriers before their husbands or family. That is very wrong. Your family first.
6. It’s in your place to build your home:
The man might be the head of the family but the woman has the power to build and transform the home.
Proverbs 14:1 said a wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.
The key to building a blissful home is in your hands.
The grace to build has been given to you. You can decide to run it down or build it. Remember it is the wise that builds, the foolish tears down. What ever you do with your home determines what category you belong the wise or the foolish woman.
7. Marriage (love) is sacrificial:
You must understand that it’s not always going to be the way you want it. Sometimes you have to let go of your pride and let your husband or wife have his/her way for peace to reign.
Marriage or love is sacrificial even God himself showed us this by giving us his only begotten son. If you aren’t ready for sacrifice then you aren’t ready for marriage or love yet. Love is patient.You must learn to be patient if you must succeed in marriage. Even God himself is patient with us despite our faults and disregard. Then who are you not to be patient with your wife or husband?
8. An Ideal plan
A friend of mine once told me he was scared of getting married and I asked him why? He said he had seen many of his friends who were doing well financially. Had a car, a comfortable apartment and all that, but the moment they got married, After a short period of time everything changed and they were even begging from him to feed.
As a young man and woman coming together to start a living, you should be able to discuss your life after the marriage ceremony before actually getting married. You don’t prepare in marriage you prepare before marriage.
For instance, if you are the type of man who does not want his wife to take up a white-collar job, then you should communicate this with her. Find out what she is good at and build it up so that she won’t become a liability waiting for you to do everything for her.
Will she just stay at home while you do the hustling alone? would she go into entrepreneurship? are you going to start your own firm or remain in your old job? the number of kids you want to have, and the spacing period, and many more.
All of these must be considered before getting married. If you can’t discuss these together then you’re probably not supposed get married. You should be free to discuss anything with each other.
Marriage is a blessing, and all of these are not to scare you or to make you shy away from marriage. But it is good that you know these things before you get married so as to help prepare your minds so that you don’t go into marriage with the wrong motive or idea and be frustrated with unrealistic expectations. Because a lot of people go into marriage with the wrong idea thinking everything will be perfectly fine. So when they get married, after a while they are disappointed and in the end, thoughts of divorce starts flooding their minds.
Because what they saw wasn’t what they expected. It is better you go in with a clear understanding so that nothing will catch you by surprise.
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